Friday, February 25, 2005
Yesterday I received a mixed blessing, in the form of an e-mail. It's amazing the emotions one can go through upon viewing one little electronic message. The subject heading was "Congratulations!". Here's how the rest of it was:
Estimado Matthew, I am writing to inform you that you have been admitted to the Saint Louis University, Madrid Campus for the fall 2005 semester. ¡ENHORABUENA! This admission is conditional, however, upon obtaining and maintaining a minimum GPA of at least 3.0 this spring. We congratulate you on your admission and look forward to having you study with us in Spain.
It went on to talk bout the stuff I would need, etc.... But that's not important right now. I GOT IN! I GOT IN! I'M GOING TO SPAIN! My main goal of the last two years achieved! THE ONLY goal I've ever had in my entire life, basically. I've succeeded. ME. No one else did this for me. So why was I crying? I was crying because the stress was over. I didn't have to wait anymore. I knew. There was something else though. Now it was real. Now I am going across the ocean. Who knows when I'll be back. Now it was clear that things were going to be very different. And I would have to say goodbye to Randy. And I don't want to. I really like him you guys. I know everybody is going to say "Well you hardly know him, and you've wanted this for so long." and you'd be right. And I've thought that, and he's thought that. But it doesn't help. I don't want anything to change (well it would be great if he lives here, or I there, or both of us in the same wherever). I don't want to forget what it feels like to like him this much. And how it feels to be liked in return.
Here is the real kicker. After I flipped out for like 2 hours, being sad and ecstatic within seconds of one another, I reread the email, and the attachments. They accepted me as a visiting student. NOT as a transfer student, as far as I can tell. Which would mean I would have to make arrangements with this University about going over there, and then coming back HERE when it was over. This is NOT what I wanted. NO, not at all. I want to run away to Spain. I do not want any ties to New Orleans. Anymore ties to America than necessary. I emailed the academic advisor, but she NEVER emails me back. I am going to have to call over there. Lord knows how I am going to do that. One thing for sure though, it won't be from the guesthouse.
8:30 AM |
