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Maybe We Could Talk In The
Shower




 
Tuesday, December 07, 2004  
The killer smiled at me as we met in the neutral ground. " What are you doing walking around at two in the mornin?" he asks, eyes hidden behind the glare of his glasses. His knapsack was stuffed with his instruments of torture. "I'm going home" I said, knowing full well my sins were worse than his. I think he knew it too. Creatures of the dark recognize each other there. "Finally?" he laughed, then added "Me too."

As he walked into the unlit park I knew he was lying. Nobody lives there except the Big Bad Wolf.

I recalled earlier that evening when I was walking between the ancient buildings, while being barraged with asinine questions. Why are you trying to know me? I won't ever let you know me. I wore these clothes that I had never worn, trying to be somebody I have never been. I knew I would have to in order to go through with all this. As he led me to the restroom chattering on endlessly, it was all I could do to make sensible answers, so intent on my silent prayers that it would not be inside one of these beautiful structures. He didn't deserve them. I didn't either. Mostly me. Somebody somewhere heard my pleas as we entered something far more modern and beige.

6:45 AM |

Friday, December 03, 2004  
It is that time of year, the time when I was for once NOT envious of people who were in college, because this is the time of year when they burrow themselves into rooms and libraries and nobody sees them for days, nay weeks at a time. Perhaps its because I am a Freshman, or perhaps because of the school that I go to, but I am not afraid of these finals whatsoever. This is my english final, for example:


Well first there is a poorly sketched diagram which I cannot recreate for you here, or can I? I'll try to later. But for now, on with the story/ assignment;

Two groups of houses are seperated by the Wambagoochi River, which is totally impassible except by canoe. In the houses on the left live three people: Dave, Jane, and Joe. Joe has a canoe. On the other side of the river live Tarzan and Sam. Tarzan and Jane have been going together for quite some time and hope to be married soon.

One day Jane receives a message by carrier parrot. Tarzan has fallen from his grapevine and injured himself; he needs her badly. He asks her to come as quick as possible. Jane rushes down to Joe's house and asks her to take her across the river. He agrees but says she'll have to spend the night with him first.

Jane is shocked by this proposition and runs to Dave's. She tells him about the message, about Tarzan's request for help, and about Joe's terms for a ride across the river. Dave tells her that he doesn't want to get involved and that she'll have to work it out for herself.

Jane is quite upset and doesn't know which way to turn. Finally, she decides to do what Joe wants in order to get Tarzan.

The next morning Joe takes Jane across the river. She rushes to the tree house to find Tarzan fixing breakfast for Cheetah and himself. He hasn't been hurt as badly as he thought at first. Jane and Tarzan have always been honest with one another, so she tells him everythign that has happened. He becomes very upset, explains he always thought Jane w s anice girl, tells her he doesn't want to see her again, and stomps off in the jungle.

Jane is crushed. She goes to Sam and explains everything that has happened. Sam gets so angry at Tarzan's response that he goes off into the jungle and beats up Tarzan.

So our English final is this. Rank the people involved in the above story from 1 through 5, with 1 being best and 5 being worst, and explain why in an in class essay. I love college.





9:34 AM |

 
I hate my bank. Here's what I said to them. I hope they reimburse me thousands of dollars:

I am seriously considering taking my banking business elsewhere (which if you check my records is a very profitable account to your institution by way of overdraft fees) You're over draft fees have gone up at least twice, if not more since I have been a customer, and were unfairly high to begin with. Secondly your method of processing transactions is unfair as you process withdrawals before deposits, and then penalize customers for there being a lack of funds which you yourselves have withheld in order do so (penalize). It is a shady way of handling things indeed, and if that is how all banks practice then I shall be forced to choose my bank based on the least expensive over draft fee, or start burying my money in a coffee can in the backyard.
Slightly Agitated, but Nonetheless Sincerely Yours,

Matthew Valletta

Now I'm gonna just sit back and wait for the money to come rollin' in.

9:24 AM |

 
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