Thursday, November 18, 2004
Today the silence of early morning has some how kept its grip all the way up till now which is about noon. It is gray and wet, somewhat chilly, but not in a bleak depressing way. Its as if the world is taking a nap. The stillness permeates everything on campus. All the buildings seem more quiet than normal, as if we are all observing an indefinite moment of silence. It's been raining off and on but even that seems slowed down and more reverent. As if the clouds waver between the desire to hold the rain and not, and barely notice they've let it go. The rain too seems like its taking is time to hit the ground, like it hasn't any destination in particular, and if fact could go right straight back up if it didn't require just that much more effort than coming down. It is tranquility at its finest.
I have been napping off and on ever since I spent all night at work typing a paper for an 8 o'clock class they ended up canceling. My next class isn't until 1:30 and I haven't got a thing to do. I've been coming in and out of this computer lab and then getting disenchanted and going off to read. I'm wearing the zip up sweater that Bill got me last Christmas, and I've over the course of the day slowly come to realize it smells ever so slightly of cat pee. Rather than being disgusted, its almost become a comforting aroma. I'm sure the people that are getting close to me however would disagree. I've finally finished The Fountainhead (also known as the Miss Vicky book) and I must say that although I don't necessarily agree with everything Ayn Rand says (I think being born in turn of the 20 th century Russia made her a LITTLE bitter) , she is definitely a gifted writer and makes quite a few valid points. Here's a little taste of why I like her, this is from her posthumously published journal that she kept while she was piecing together the fountainhead:
Feb.27, 1937
Initial question: a librarian writing about library building, insists that libraries must be made to look as accessible to the public as possible- to "bring the library nearer to the people" "Spacious and inviting entrances are placed at grade level, close to the public thoroughfare, with as few steps as possible between the pedestrian and the building." This may be quite sound in relation to library architecture, but the question it raises in a more general sense is this: is it advisable to spread out all the conveniences of culture before people to whom a few steps up a stair to a library is a sufficient deterrent from reading?
What a pistol. What with my book finished there isn't much left to do at all except nap and go online. I've been day dreaming on and off about me growing older, and what it will be like. Sometimes Randy is there and we are chasing a tottering two year old across the grass of some park. Sometimes I am an old man sitting alone in a cafe watching people much like my friends and I are now and smiling knowingly to myself recalling all of the antics of my youth. Sometimes I am home in Rhode Island doing something sensible after having sowed my wild oats, and other times I am back packing through Spain, or Bali, Thailand, whatever country I saw last in the national geographic. I am not worried or anxious what will become of me, because I know that where ever I end up, it will be what I have chosen.
